24 5/15/06

Well, Slick Greasy was successful in nuking the recording of the Weasel-in-Chief’s treasonous conversation with Robocop. When Chloe figured out that the Slickmeister was the only one who could have erased the memory of the recorder Jack was going to “interrogate” him as only Jack Bauer can. However Julie Meyers stopped him and contented herself with slapping his bland smug face and warning him that “it wasn’t over” before sending him off to his shiny new job as the new White House lickspittle.

Meanwhile the stalwart forces at CTU which is now DHS get the word that the Prior of the Ori has escaped and is assumed to be planning a new attack.

The Weasel orders Jack released so that the Bluetooth Mafia can more easily take him out. He calls the doctor from ER (whose name I can’t remember) to report that he didn’t need to do the right thing after all.

Mary Todd Weasel is depressed. She considers taking a whole bunch of pills, but decides not to. At least she can live and make the Weasel miserable as is a wife’s duty. She finds Red Foreman’s cell phone and gives it to one of the White House Secret Service Detail (otherwise known as the President’s personal death squad) to return to him.

President Weasel goes to where Red Foreman has been tied up and tortured and tries to bribe him with his life plus any post he wants (even the Dallas field office) in exchange for his silence. Red tells him to kiss his ass that his duty is to see Weasel brought to justice. You see Red is the late President Palmer’s man just like Luca Bratsie (sp) in The Godfather. The only way to stop him is to send him for a nap with the fishes.

President Weasel orders one of his death squad troopers to fit Foreman for a pair of cement shoes. It’s all done with pointed looks, just like in the movies.

Julie Meyers and Col. McQueen decide to offer Robocop a full immunity deal (the paperwork for full immunity deals are printed in case lots and stored in the stationary closet at CTU, a printing service brings more every month). Jack doesn’t want to give a full immunity deal to the man who killed former President Palmer (he was, however, willing to give a full immunity deal to the woman who murdered his wife, was there a Brokeback thing between Bauer and Palmer?). Jack says that they should at least allow him to present the deal.

Jack goes in to see Robocop and Robo assumes that since Jack isn’t under arrest the recording must have been played to the right people. Instead of running a game on Robo, like telling him that Weasel had done the right thing or was under arrest, Jack just says “Oh the recording was erased; you hold all the cards now”.

[Note to the CTU management. Jack Bauer sucks at any interrogation that doesn’t involve torture.]

Robocop doesn’t want a full immunity deal he knows that he will be killed for knowing too much. Instead he wants Jack to help him disappear. Jack tells him that he can do that, but at the first whiff of a double cross he will blow his head off (this is Jack getting back into familiar interrogation territory).

Robocop takes Jack and a CTU assault team to the Evil TechnoMaster who helped the Prior and his Children of The Ori plan their strike on the unbelievers. Once alone with the Evil TechnoMaster Robocop tells him that the CTU is just outside to dump his hard drives and escape out the back way. Jack sends the assault team in. Robocop says that it was all just a ruse to get Evil TechnoMaster to lift his firewall and dump his files onto a flash drive that they could seize. He conveniently forgets that the data would still be encrypted.

Chloe is able to decrypt the data. Remember all you need to do to break encrypted data files is to stare intently at the computer while typing furiously and no one stares more intently while typing more furiously than Chloe. Although, to be fair, since she got laid she is a little less intent and furious than usual. But she is still equal to the task.

Chloe discovers that the Prior is going to capture a Soviet, I mean Russian, Delta 4 class submarine which is tied up at a non military pier at LA (instead of, say the Navy base at San Diego or San Francisco) as part of a military technology exchange. Jack has himself connected with the senior American officer on the sub and warns him that terrorists have targeted the sub. He neglects to inform him that the terrorists have nerve gas. After all what could he have done with that knowledge, sound the alarm that would have caused every sailor on the sub to have put on breathing gear (the sub has a nuclear powerplant, after all)?

The Prior manages to gas the sub’s crew and take control of its cruise missiles (non nuclear, but still deadly). Interesting how the Prior and his forces are able to walk around in the sub with no protection other than gas masks even though nerve gas kills on skin contact. I guess the Ori are protecting them.

Oh, I almost forgot. The President’s death squad was going to terminate Red Foreman but Mary Todd Weasel saved him and took out the death squad storm trooper with his own gun. Red sent her to tell Mike Novak the whole story and have him meet Foreman to plan future action.

Previews for next week’s two hour finale show Jack having the final confrontation with the Weasel. I can hardly wait.