The universe is out of alignment

All evening long I have had the feeling that something was terribly wrong.

As though the entire fabric of the universe was somehow twisted out of shape. Sort of like in that latest Exorcist movie where the herd of cattle killed and ate a pack of hyenas.

I now realize what the problem is. It's Monday and there wasn't an episode of 24.

It's going to be like this until January. How am I going to make it?

Someone hand me a bottle of bourbon and an assault rifle.