Chinese New Year sparks riots

HONG KONG, China (AP) -- Fortune tellers say the Chinese zodiac's year of the pig, which starts Sunday, will be a good time to have a baby -- but they also warn of rising epidemics, disasters and violence around the world.

In a related story Muslims are expected to react to the "year of the pig" with murderous rage. Preliminary rioting has already begun in European cities as Chinese restaurants and laundries have been firebombed in Paris, Berlin and Brussels.

European Union Minister of Clueless Denials Poot Van Kampen removed his head from the sand long enough to comment, "We feel sure that these unfortunate incidents do not represent any kind of pattern and that overreaction would be highly detrimental".