How it SHOULD go down

(New York - WABC, September 19, 2007) - Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad requested to visit Ground Zero during an upcoming trip to New York. That request was rejected Wednesday. But a source tells Eyewitness News that the decision may not stop him.

A law enforcement source says the Iranian mission to the United Nations has informed the Secret Service that the Iranian president intends to visit Ground Zero Monday at 10 a.m.

The source says regardless of the NYPD's rejection of the request for a Ground Zero tour, Iran's president and his entourage will be accompanied by a Secret Service protective detail, a detail provided to all heads of state when they visit the United States.

When I first heard that Imadinnerjacket wanted to visit Ground Zero I thought that it could be a magnificent opportunity, if handled correctly. Here is how it should be handled:

Put Dinnerjacket into the NYPD Chief of Detectives' car. It is a luxury sedan, but still has the lights and siren of a police car. Have Two uniformed NYPD officers in the car with him along with his Secret Service bodyguard. Tell Jacket-boy that they are an NYPD honor guard.

Just before arriving at Ground Zero have the cops turn on the car's flashing lights and when they stop the car have the uniformed cops escort Dinnerjacket to the viewing area so that it looks like he is in police custody.

At Ground Zero have the name and photograph of every person who died on 9/11 on display and have Rudolph Giuliani waiting for him along with some of the former Iranian hostages who can ID Dinnerjacket as one of the "students" who held them captive.

At Ground Zero Giuliani reads a speech where he points out to Dinnerjacket that the people responsible for 9/11 followed a form of militant Islam every bit as insane as that followed by Dinnerjacket and the Iranian mullahs. Have Rudy point out that not only does Iran support Shiite terrorist groups like Hamas but that they are also supporting al Qaeda in Iraq which was created by and is led and largely manned by the greater al Qaeda organization by giving them money, weapons and sophisticated explosive devices.

Then the former hostages get up and relate what it was like being held by Muslim fanatics and state that they remember Dinnerjacket as one of their tormentors and demand that he be arrested, tried and executed. Rudy explains that they can't happen because Dinnerjacket is there under Diplomatic cover but swears that on the day he is sworn in as president that his first act of office will be to sign a death warrant for Dinnerjacket and the other members of the Iranian government.

Then the NYPD officers put Dinnerjacket back into the police car and drive him back to the Iranian mission.