Membership has its privileges

Iowahawk has the letter sent to Al Gore after his Nobel Peace Prize win informing him of the privileges of membership:


Dear ALBERT GORE JR. :

Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2007 recipient of the Nobel Peace Price, in recognition of your tireless efforts to RAISE GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE AWARENESS .

I am also pleased to tell you that as a winner, you have been pre-approved for membership in the Nobel Peace Player's Club, offering exclusive money-saving benefits available only to laureates like you. Please take a few minutes to look over the enclosed enrollment materials. At only $299.95 per year, I'm sure you'll agree that membership is a bargain at twice the price! Here are just some of the benefits you'll receive:

A handsome 14-karat gold membership crest badge to display proudly on the grille of your limousine or Gulfstream

A framed, hand-calligraphed certificate (add $19.95 for gold leaf)

Special Geico group car insurance rates for you and your family

Listing in "Who's Who of Global Salvation" ($49.95 per copy)

Great coupons for Olive Garden, P.F. Chang, Six Flags Theme Parks, and more!

Plus, you'll receive the exclusive Nobel Peace Player's Club GoldCard entitling you to discount air travel and 5-star hotel accomodations from Kyoto to Darfur. But don't take our word for it! Listen to these testimonials from some of our current members:

"My career as an international peace activist means lots of air travel -- and dealing with pushy Zionists and rude natives. With my Nobel Peace Player's Club GoldCard, I finally get the respect I deserve - and it makes getting through Gaza airport security a snap!"
-- Jimmy Carter, 2002 Lareate

Go read the rest.

H/T: White Trash Republican