The unsexiest women in the world

From The Sydney Morning Herald:

Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba and Halle Berry are regularly named the world's sexiest women. But who are the unsexiest women alive? A men's magazine decided to find out.

The list, published in the latest edition of Maxim Magazine, named Sex and the City star Sarah Jessica Parker as the No. 1 Unsexiest Woman Alive.

The magazine said Parker was the "least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women" that ironically starred in a show with the word "sex" in the title.

Troubled soul singer Amy Winehouse was voted No. 2 because of her "hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat's nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats".

The mag listed Grey's Anatomy Sandra Oh at No. 3 for her "cold bedside manner and boyish figure".

Pop star Madonna took out the No. 4 spot for her "self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration".

"Combine a Paris Hilton-like pet accessorising fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you've got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes," Maxim Magazine said.

Britney Spears came in at No. 5 for "losing the ability to perform".

The mag also said two children, two ex-husbands and a slight weight gain also helped Britney nab the No. 5 spot.

Maxim Magazine's list of the world's unsexiest women:

1. Sarah Jessica Parker
2. Amy Winehouse
3. Sandra Oh
4. Madonna
5. Britney Spears

I can't argue that any of those women don't belong on a list of unsexy women however there are so many more who belong even more. What about Paris Hilton? Even teenage boys are tired of looking at her vagina. And Rosie O'Donnell! The only reason to keep her off a list of unsexy women would be doubt that she really is a woman. We can't forget Woopie Goldberg either. Woopie is to sexiness as a black hole is to light. She actually sucks beauty out of other women and annihilates it when it crosses her event horizon. Word is that Kathy Bates and Charlize Theron are identical twin sisters, but Kathy took a transatlantic flight in a seat next to Woopie.

How you narrow it down to just five women is beyond me.