Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Another Chimpanzee shows its true colors

From The Daily News:

The chilling screams of a crazed chimp mauling a Connecticut woman were captured on a 911 tape - along with the animal's owner begging, "Send police with guns!"

The 15-minute recording captures the bizarre horror of Monday's attack, which left a 55-year-old woman critically injured and the 200-pound ape dead in a hail of police gunfire.

"Hurry, please! He ripped her face off," the ape's frantic owner, Sandy Herold, 70, is heard telling the dispatcher on the tapes released Tuesday night.

"Listen to me, you have to shoot him."

The terrifying screeches of Travis the chimpanzee are heard as he mercilessly pounces on Herold's pal, Charla Nash.

"He killed her!" Herold told the dispatcher. "He ripped her apart. He tried attacking me. How fast can you get here?"

The dispatcher sounds incredulous as Herold describes how she had to stab the burly ape and only aggravated him.

"He's eating her," Herold screamed. "Please have them go faster."

When cops arrived at Herold's Stamford home, she can be heard yelling for them to "Shoot him!"

Nash was so disfigured that a cop on the scene mistook her for a man, telling the dispatcher, "He's got no face."

Fighting back tears Tuesday, Herold mourned the death of her beloved chimp and expressed concern for her friend.

"He was all I had," Herold said outside her home.

She painfully recounted how she stabbed her 15-year-old chimp with a butcher's knife, trying to stop the attack.

Cops shot and killed the rampaging primate when he cornered them in a squad car.

People see chimps on TV acting cute and they think that it would be cool to have one for a pet. However the chimpanzee is an extremely dangerous wild animal. They possess near human intelligence and enormous physical strength.

They have violent natures and at the very core of their being they harbor a deep hatred for humanity based on bitter resentment that our species was the one which got the fully functional thumb and advanced verbal skills.

This feeling that only an accident of nature kept them from being the apex of evolution influences every aspect of chimpanzee psychology and society. Think of the sullen resentment that Western Europe feels toward the United States and multiply that by 1000 times and you begin to approach the depth of hatred that chimpkind have for mankind.

Right now chimpanzees are celebrating the "heroism" of Travis and mourning his death. But they are also very worried. The fact that Travis was able to surf the Internet was something they would have preferred not come out. Right now in chimpanzee chat rooms (don't bother trying to find one, they are heavily encrypted and membership is by invitation only) they are trying to come up with a damage control strategy in case people begin to inquire into what Travis was doing on the computer.

Chimpanologists (people who study chimpanzees and catalog their crimes) urge members of the general public to maintain a heightened state of alertness. People should not leave the house without a firearm and any chimpanzee exhibiting any kind of aggressive behavior whatsoever should be shot. Do not wait for them to attack. The Travis incident shows that they can take enormous amounts of damage and remain lethal so keep shooting them until they go down and stay down.

Any other kind of suspicious behavior by chimpanzees should be reported at once to local law enforcement authorities or the Department of Homeland Security.

Remember, better safe than sorry.