Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Hollywood castrato sings a bitter song

Aaron Sorkin (creator of television series The West Wing - what else do you really need to know) has a problem with Sarah Palin going hunting with her father:

"Unless you've never worn leather shoes, sat upon a leather chair or eaten meat, save your condemnation."

You're right, Sarah, we'll all just go fuck ourselves now.

The snotty quote was posted by Sarah Palin on (like all the great frontier women who've come before her) her Facebook page to respond to the criticism she knew and hoped would be coming after she hunted, killed and carved up a Caribou during a segment of her truly awful reality show, "Sarah Palin's Alaska", broadcast on The-Now-Hilariously-Titled Living Channel.

I eat meat, chicken and fish, have shoes and furniture made of leather, and PETA is not ever going to put me on the cover of their brochure and for these reasons Palin thinks it's hypocritical of me to find what she did heart-stoppingly disgusting. I don't think it is, and here's why.

Like 95% of the people I know, I don't have a visceral (look it up) problem eating meat or wearing a belt. But like absolutely everybody I know, I don't relish the idea of torturing animals. I don't enjoy the fact that they're dead and I certainly don't want to volunteer to be the one to kill them and if I were picked to be the one to kill them in some kind of Lottery-from-Hell, I wouldn't do a little dance of joy while I was slicing the animal apart.

I'm able to make a distinction between you and me without feeling the least bit hypocritical. I don't watch snuff films and you make them. You weren't killing that animal for food or shelter or even fashion, you were killing it for fun. You enjoy killing animals. I can make the distinction between the two of us but I've tried and tried and for the life of me, I can't make a distinction between what you get paid to do and what Michael Vick went to prison for doing. I'm able to make the distinction with no pangs of hypocrisy even though I get happy every time one of you faux-macho shitheads accidentally shoots another one of you in the face.

So I don't think I will save my condemnation, you phony pioneer girl. (I'm in film and television, Cruella, and there was an insert close-up of your manicure while you were roughing it in God's country. I know exactly how many feet off camera your hair and make-up trailer was.)

And you didn't just do it for fun and you didn't just do it for money. That was the first moose ever murdered for political gain. You knew there'd be a protest from PETA and you knew that would be an opportunity to hate on some people, you witless bully. What a uniter you'd be--bringing the right together with the far right.

(Let me be the first to say that I abused cocaine and was arrested for it in April 2001. I want to be the first to say it so that when Palin's Army of Arrogant Assholes, bereft of any reasonable rebuttal, write it all over the internet tomorrow they will at best be the second.)

I eat meat, there are leather chairs in my office, Sarah Palin is deranged and The Living Channel should be ashamed of itself.

Mr. Sorkin if you are willing to eat the meat or wear the skin but unwilling to kill the animal then you ARE a hypocrite.  And furthermore you seem to be too stupid to know it.

You think that shooting an animal with a high powered rifle is "torturing" it?  Would you prefer that humans do what other apex predators (look it up you dunce) do and eat our prey alive?

You think that what someone who hunts for the table does and what Michael Vick did are exactly the same?  So trying to kill an animal with one shot and finishing it off as quickly as possible if it is still alive then feeding your family with the meat is EXACTLY THE SAME as pitting dogs against each other in an illegal dogfight then killing those who fail to win in a slow and agonizing way for the amusement of yourself and your friends?

Mr. Sorkin if you truly believe this you are not only a hypocrite but an abject fool and a moral leper (look up what Hanson's Disease does to the nerves - this is what moral leprosy does to the conscience).

You are not only a fool and a hypocrite you are a pathetic and contemptible weakling.  You are happy enough to have the steak sizzling on your plate but you lack the balls to put it there.  Not only do you lack the guts to kill the animal yourself but you actually imagine yourself to be better than the people who do have the courage to face up to what eating meat involves (the death of the meat animal). 

Just look at the little dweeb

Mr. Sorkin you are a weak and wretched little gelding.  You should get down on your knees every day and thank God that there are plenty of people in the world like Sarah Palin, who are ready and willing to do the heavy lifting so that you can live the comfortable life of a Hollywood screenwriter and producer.  Because you are utterly incapable of surviving in a world in which all of life's necessities are not handed to you on a silver platter by anonymous but hardworking people - the least of who's ass you are not worthy to wipe.  You miserable mincing little metrosexual capon.