Saturday, February 24, 2007

Al-Qaeda replies

The People's Cube has al-Qaeda's reaction to the House's "non-binding resolution":

A new cave video released by Ayman al-Zawahiri praised the non-binding resolution against Iraq troop surge passed in the House today, describing it as a step in the right direction, while also criticizing the bill as "inadequate and meager kickback for the tremendous effort and sacrifice" al-Qaeda's had given to help the Democrats win the mid-term elections. "What in Allah's name is a non-binding resolution?" al-Qaeda's number two shouted while shaking his AK-47 in the air. "We sacrificed thousands of our best men, raising body count of US troops and Iraqi bystanders to unprecedented numbers so that you could work your ungodly media polls to win the House and the Senate. And now you're basically telling us that 'the check is in the mail'? Really? If our IEDs were as symbolic and non-binding as your resolution, Pelosi wouldn't be your speaker. The question that many Jihadists are asking today is, can we trust the Democrats?"

"The warriors of Allah are justifiably frustrated by the lack of progress," al-Zawahiri went on to say, "and the price paid by our Jihadists has been heavy. But what is needed now, especially in Washington, is not despair but decisive action - and soon.

"Let there be no doubt: Our failure in Iraq would be a strategic and moral catastrophe not just for al-Qaeda, but also for the Democrat Party, as well as our natural allies in the anti-war movement, media, academia, and trivial entertainment industries. If Iraq avoids civil war and becomes secure for business, it will be a tremendous victory for America - and nobody wants that, we know it because we watch CNN.

"We know that the daily scenes of death and destruction are heartbreaking and infuriating. That's why we're doing it. We provide the carnage; Democrats make sure it gets the coverage. Keep your end of the bargain and convince Americans that there is no better strategic and moral alternative for your country than hand-wringing, carping and calls for withdrawal. US Congress has a moral responsibility to do what appears easier in the short term - pull out of Iraq and let us slaughter all their moderates, America's sympathizers, and Jew lovers.

[. . .]

In Washington, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi dismissed allegations that the resolution against the troop surge gives moral support to the terrorists: "We don't support America's enemies - we only support their mission!" she said. "In the interest of our children - and our children's children - we have a moral responsibility to do what appears easier in the short term."

Go read the whole thing. The People's Cube is better than The Onion.