A lawyer

From ABC:

In an exclusive interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer, tuberculosis patient Andrew Speaker said he never thought others were at risk for catching his deadly disease.

"I'm very sorry for any grief or pain that I have caused anyone," Speaker said from his isolation room in the National Jewish Hospital in Denver. "I think if people look at my life, that's not … not how I live my life."

They told him that he had a highly contagious drug resistant form of TB. What was there about "highly contagious" that he didn't understand?

Ah, but he's a lawyer so he's saying that while they warned him not to travel they didn't actually knock him down and sit on him to keep him from getting on a plane. So it's all the CDC's fault.

Exactly like a lawyer. That is how come the instruction manual for a new handgun specifically says that it is dangerous to load the gun and stick it to your head and pull the trigger. Because if it didn't the gun company would get taken to court by the next of kin of a suicide on the grounds that they weren't really trying to kill themselves they just didn't know that they could get hurt that way.

There was a guy down in Gaston Co. who took heroin and passed out cold. While he was in lotus land a rat ate part of his leg. He filed suit against his landlord. That is what lawyers do.