Saturday, December 01, 2007

The great debate

The Right Place has the Republican YouTube debate covered. Here is a sample:

Anderson Cooper: "Tonight's questions will come from members of our studio audience, as well as from questions submitted via YouTube. Those who will be asking the questions come from all over the United States, they were selected totally at random, and each and every one of them have sworn to us on stacks of bibles, cross-their-hearts-and-hope-to-die, stick-a-thousand-needles-in-their-eye, may-lightning-strike-them-if-they're-telling-a-lie, that they are, in fact, undecided Republican voters --- and we have chosen to take them at their word. Neither we, nor the candidates, have any advance knowledge of the questions that will be asked. Let's get started with a gentleman from YouTube who has submitted a question for consideration, Retired Brigadier General Keith Kerr."

General Kerr: "Hi, I'm an openly gay former General, who, I assure you, is NOT a Democrat Party plant who has served on Hillary Clinton's steering committee, nor did I ever campaign for John Kerry, as far as you know. My question is for Congressman Hunter: Tell me, sir, why are all Republicans like yourself a bunch of bigoted, sexist, racist, homophobic, war-mongering fascists? And wouldn't the world be far better off if we only allowed gay pacifists in the military?"

Duncan Hunter: "Well, first of all, sir, as a former Serviceman myself, and with all due respect, I believe that your premise is false to begin with..."

Anderson Cooper: "I'm sorry, Congressman, but your time has expired. Let us go to another YouTube question, this time from a woman who calls herself Journey, and she is from Texas."

Journey: "Hi. As a lifelong Republican who is soooooo not secretly a lesbian Democrat activist who supports John Edwards, my question is for Senator McCain. I wanted to know why, Senator, you and the rest of these heartless, cruel, chauvinist brutes on the Republican side, want to prevent me from having reproductive choice and force me into a back alley to have my abortion, which is my right! Don't you want me to be able to be safe during my abortion, or would you prefer that I die? You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

John McCain: "Journey, first of all, no one here wants to see a bright young woman like yourself die..."

Anderson Cooper: "I'm sorry, Senator McCain, the red light has come on and we must move to the next question. This one comes to us from Dylan on YouTube, and it is for Mayor Giuliani."

Dylan: "I, and all of America for that matter, would like to know when we are going to be told the truth about 9/11! We know we are being lied to by the government. There were no terrorists, those planes didn't knock those towers down... we murdered our own people and covered it up! What I want to know is, how do you sleep at night knowing that it's all just an elaborate and convenient lie created to take us into an illegal and unnecessary war?"

Go and read the rest, but don't be eating or drinking when you do or you'll be having to clean off your keyboard and monitor.